When I was growing up, I was a skinny little thing, did modeling and thought I had it all. I was selfish, I was rude and I just had a horrible attitude problem that I needed to fix. I was boy crazy and I just thought I was truly all that and a bag of chips. Although the weird thing is, I was insecure and completely jealous of every single girl and person that I met. I was just a teenager, I didn’t know any better right?? Wrong! I think we all should know better because being selfish and being jealous truly gets us nowhere in life. I used to put everyone first before my family, and again the only person I cared about was myself. I am not afraid to admit it because this is who I was, not who I am now.
So.. I want to tell you all a little story if that’s okay?? After I got out of high school and in my early 20’s I was still very jealous and the guy I was dating at the time, I am not even sure I can tell you how he put up with me. I would ask him questions about who he was with? What he was doing and well we didn’t have face time but there was texting, and boy did I text and bother the crap out of this guy. I wanted to spend every waking moment with him, and what for? So he couldn’t have any kind of life himself? The day he went to college is when I really started to freak out though. I mean there were always these gorgeous college girls and I couldn’t be there. What if he cheated on me? I would never know it.
Then came the time where I just went through my phases and put myself before everyone. I only cared about myself and my feelings, no one else mattered. I would miss family get-togethers, I would hardly ever see my parents because I knew what they had to say and I also knew that I just wasn’t going to like it. So I lived under their roof for a while, until I didn’t. They did not want to put up with me being a rebellious 20-year old who wasn’t going to obey their rules. Why should they?? I never gave them the time of day, I have no idea why they would even remotely want to give me theirs.
Now, what woke me up and made me realize that being jealous and selfish just wasn’t worth it anymore? A death! The very death of my father, when I had so much hatred, so much regret, and so much remorse. I could not stand myself, I missed out on all of these important moments, and for what?! Because I wanted to be a selfish brat! Why did it take me until the death of my dad to realize this? I couldn’t tell you, I think it was just a huge wakeup call. Now family means everything to me, and they are the only ones I care about! I will do anything and everything for my family and well jealousy is something I hardly ever think about. Being happy for people living great lives, getting married, spending time with their parents and family brings me so much joy. When I see other women I used to think well… better be careful because I am not nearly as pretty, they need to stay away from my hubby. But I don’t ever think that anymore either. I think about how all those women that hurt him in the past don’t have him now. I do! We said our vows and we live them each and every day. What also helps is when I got sick, when I found out my heart wasn’t good and that I would need a pacemaker and maybe many more heart surgeries for the rest of my life. I realized, this is the life God has given me, I will rejoice and be glad in it. Living a life with more positivity, just makes that life so much more fulfilling. Spending time with those you love, those you hold dear to your hearts is the very best thing we can do.
Listen, everyone! Please listen to me! You only get one mom and dad, you only get your brothers and sisters once. Once those moments are taken from you, are you going to look back and be thankful for the time you spent with them? Are you going to be grateful for how you treated that person? If I could have you guys just take away one thing from this reading it would be this. To love others more than you love yourself, put your family first above all else. Spend the time with your parents, your kids, friends, because God never promised us a second here on earth. The Lord promises that to us in the bible that we can all be taken at any given time, we don’t know how? We just know it will happen. Forgive others, forgive yourselves. Live each moment like it’s your last. Take account of everything you do and say, your life matters but so does someone else. Again being selfish, being jealous will not get you anywhere, remember you won the guy! You won the battle, the other person lost and may regret it for the rest of their life. Let us look to the present for its a gift that has been given to us.